Where Vulcans Lose Their Cool

Easter Pics & More

2010-03-04T13:44:00.000-08:00

A sad little bunny boy.

A chubsy bunny boy.

Drooly bunny boy.

And more shots:

Baby Pics!

2010-02-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

I can't believe Leven is turning 4 months old tomorrow! To mark that wondrous occasion, I fired up my Nikon and took some pics.

My Book--Update

2010-02-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

Remember me blathering on about writing a book? Then, I got pregnant and stopped writing? Right at the last chapter?

Well, it took some time and doing to get my writing mojo back, but I did. I finished writing my book on Groundhog Day. :D

The manuscript is 720-ish pages, still needs polishing, but the story itself is written! Now, I'm in the process of writing up my query letter and synopsis as I fiddle with the edit/rewrite. On top of that, I'll be starting Book 2 Sunday night. Sunday-Wednesday Bill will watch the baby for me so I can zone out with my headphones on and just focus on writing. So, that will be my new schedule. Write Book 2 half the week and prepare Book 1 for marketing the other half.

Besides writing, things are fine. So, feeling pretty good these days! Hope you all are doing well!

Are You Afraid Of Ghosts?

2009-12-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

Me, I'm not afraid of ghosts and paranormal stuff. It's not because I don't believe in it, either. I do. Strange things happen.

For instance, Bill and I went out for sushi one day earlier this year. We ordered bowls of clear soup along with a couple rolls of sushi. Well, when I was finished with my soup (there was maybe a fourth left in the bowl) I pushed it aside so I could concentrate on my California roll. As I began to dig into my food and continue on with my conversation with Bill, the bowl scooted itself closer to the edge of the table. I raised an eyebrow to that, but since I was having a good discussion with Bill I let it go. A few minutes later it happened again. Bill and I both paused to watch the bowl scoot once more.

Now, it wasn't a tiny sliding motion we witnessed here. Imagine an invisible finger pushing a small soup bowl across the table. That's what it was like. So, like any curious person--and not one to be fooled--I checked both the bowl and the table for anything fishy or explanatory. Nothing was out of order ... except the obvious, unexplained motor skills of my soup bowl.

Anyway, I thought it was cool, but I wasn't freaked out by it. Neither was Bill. At least, not that I noticed. But Bill does get the willies when ghosts and ghouls and supernatural stuff is involved. It is like pulling teeth trying to get him to see a horror movie with me! He even refused to see Zombieland! That's a comedy for crying out loud!

Well, long story short, I was just wondering what your take is on ghosts and paranormal stuff. Do you believe in it? Does it give you the willies? Have any fun stories to share?

I'm all ears ... er ... in this case, I guess I'm all eyes.

Festive Tree Pic

2009-12-14T20:38:00.000-08:00

And here it is, as promised, SunTiger!

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/1770/74488892.jpg

Had My Baby Boy! Pics Included!

2009-11-29T15:25:00.000-08:00

On November 2nd, 2009 I gave birth to my second son via scheduled c-section. Weighing in at 7 lbs. 12oz. and measuring 19 inches, he was smaller than expected, but perfect in every way! And everything went very well throughout the procedure, despite me having a mild reaction to the spinal anesthesia. So, without further ado, may I introduce you to the newest member of my family:

Here is the video of Leven's physical assessment while I'm being put back together in the background!

The latest

2009-07-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I visited my good old journal. Sigh.

Okay, well I s'pose I should dish out the latest and greatest hits from my reluctant existence.

1- Still pregnant! Go me, this one is sticking. I'm six months long now and getting round in the belly.
2-It's a boy! Found out right away on the ultrasound. Willie was ecstatic to find out he's getting a baby brother. I have a name picked out, but I'm not telling until it's too late to go back.
3-I've totally put off my writing until I can give it my all. Preggo brain is disgustingly obsessed with all things baby. Plus, I'm using this time to just take it easy and take care of myself.
4-Got pregnancy induced Carpal Tunnel Syndrome! Eek. I have to go to sleep at night with wrist braces on or else my hands go numb and constantly wake me up. Very annoying, let me tell ya.
5-Visited the family in NJ and ultimately had a sucky time, but was thrown a nice babyshower. Remind to vent about family and in-laws one of these days. That needs a whole post of its own.

Alrighty, I think I touched on the highlights. I'm gonna check on my faves now.

Oh, the irony...

2009-03-31T01:12:00.000-07:00

So that we're all on the same page, I figured I'd fess up right now that I've not been quite right lately. Agreed?

Well, guess what? The shit has really hit the fan.

On the second to last chapter of my book, I started having real problems with writing it out and getting it done in my usual, hyped-up fashion. I was distracted and friggin tired. Very unusual for an obsessive insomniac.

Then, Bill and I went out for sushi--one of my very favorite foods. I gagged on my butterfly roll.

That same day, I ran home and checked the calendar. I was two weeks late. I ran to Walgreens and got a test. It was positive before the test line even showed up.

So, now I'm 8 weeks pregnant. I'm tired, nauseous, bitchy, and totally blocked on my writing. I managed to finish the second to last chapter and start the last one, but I feel like such shit that writing now looks like real work instead of escape and play.

How rude is that? To be on page 569, on chapter 25, the very last chapter of the fargin story, and stall out because of hormonal changes?

Lately, I've been walking around in a daze, muttering to myself, "Can ya believe this shit?"

Fake Men vs. Real Men

2009-02-23T20:56:00.000-08:00

Took some Tylenol PM and drank some wine ... got some sleep, finally.

Also, I took 2 or 3 days to chill out. I still wrote, but only a page or two a day with some revising of previous pages.

I read two of my favorite romance novels. That may have been a bad move, though. I like fake men better than real men, lol. Obviously, because women write them up and know what women want.

What I don't get is why men don't pick up the romance novels and find out how to make their woman happy? I bet that would solve at least half of the divorce craze. Is it ignorance? Do men just not know that the answer is right there before them? Is it pride? Are they unwilling to learn? I'm guessing it's some of both.

And guys, don't get all pissy and say something like: "well, women don't do what guys want."

I tell you what, you turn into a romance novel guy and your woman will do what you want in return. Women are receptive like that ... unless you got yourself a real cold bitch. ;) If so, sorry.

Story Update: I'm on Chapter 18 with 415 pages. I've actually slowed down a bit ... partly because I'm going mad and partly because I don't want to rush through the big finish and not do it justice. Gotta be careful and do it right, ya know. I'm also dragging my feet a little, because I know the ending is going to be rather dark and I'm sad to tear my beloved couple apart.

I Think I'm Broken Vent Warning

2009-02-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

I think I might need therapy if things don't ease up.

Shortly before JS crashed, you read about my miscarriage and my meltdown.

Then you've been reading about my writing ever since I threw myself into it.

This morning I had a reality check. I had no idea what the date was, so I checked the calendar. When I saw the date, I realized two things: 1) I was late on my mortgage payment. 2)My dad's birthday passed six days ago.

Now, those may not be big issues for everyone, but as I've stated before in other posts I'm anal retentive when it comes to punctuality--that extends to keeping dates in mind ... like for paying the bills and remembering the birthdays of close family and friends. This is the first time I ever forgot a family member's birthday. Shit, I remember Bill's family member's birthdays for him.

I also look like crap. I lost weight ... that was actually good because I chubbed up with the cold weather and with the pregnancy, but Bill's been worried that I'm losing it too fast. I'm not even exercising. I'm sitting on my ass all night writing and sleeping all day long. I look haggard.

The main staples of my diet has become a handful of vitamins/supplements, coffee, smokes. I do eat some popcorn when I'm writing and need to munch. And I DO eat real food here and there ... lately I've been making the effort to eat some veggies and/or protein because I've been getting shaky on occasion.

I'm also completely withdrawn. People, even the people I like or love, bother me. They talk at me about whatever and all I'm thinking is: I could be writing instead of listening to this crap. Poor Bill, he's been left to deal with stuff on his own. He's even had to take over some of my chores. Like making dinner. Why frigging bother when I don't hardly eat? I just don't sweat the small stuff now, I don't give a flying fuck. Pardon my french, but that really does fit my mindset.

My apathy is a little disturbing, in a clinical sort of way. I know I should be caring about what's going on in my life around me, but I don't. I'm insulated, nothing quite gets far enough through to matter.

All I care about right now is my story. By the way, I'm at chapter 17 with 395 pages. Unless it sprawls out further than I expect, I figure the first draft of the first book will be done somewhere between 500-600 pages. So, I'm heading into the home stretch. Maybe another month, tops. Not too shabby, since I started writing the book on Dec. 23rd.

But see that right there! Get me talking about my book and I'm a perky jabberjaw. Anything else and I become monosyllabic. Well, aside from this post. But I find posting is my own form of therapy, so I'm trying to do the whole purge and heal thing.

I thought the writing was healing me, but it might just be tranference and escape. I admit, I've become obsessed. And outside of the writing, well, I'm pretty much useless.

So, back to my post's title. I think I'm broken. I'm not surprised. I thought that at the time of the miscarriage,too. I remember clearly thinking: This is it! My mind has broken. I'm done.

It's not like I went stark raving, my problem was much more subtle. Instead of a big break right down the middle, I think a tiny chip fell off--but that sucker must've been an important chip. Because I'm really not functioning much anymore.

I don't really want to do the whole therapy thing. It would take a very special therapist to impress me. I'm not going to roll over and expose my underbelly to just any schmuck. So, I dunno. Therapy is iffy at best.

Oh well, I should go to bed someday.

I'm Just That Into Me

2009-02-05T02:54:00.000-08:00

All right, my pretties, I've been off in my own world of make believe and have been using this poor blog to ramble on about the writing. If ya like reading about my journey, get comfy.

My streak is stronger than ever, I'm halfway through Chapter 11 and at 260 pages. Mind, it is a first draft, so when this finally gets banged out, I'll have to work on the rewrite. Which should be interesting to juggle with the writing of the second book while I've got the fresh story mojo. I'm not sure how long this tale will roll out, but there is definitely a second book. I haven't been able to see past that yet. If possible, I'd like to make a trilogy out of it--at the very least. Still, a lot of the story is unraveling as I go and where I'll land, I do not know ... yet.

I'm afraid that I've turned into an obsessed artiste. I've been living and breathing the story. My sleeping and appetite and social life have all fallen away. My husband and son are trying to be supportive, but they are also a bit exasperated with me. All they see is me hunched over my laptop with my headphones on and a bottomless cup of coffee. Sometimes I alternate with Coke Zero. But I make sure to take my handfuls of vitamins and supplements, so no worries, ay.

I had a ball writing a steamy love scene into the story. Ah, romance, how do I love thee? My hero is so awesome, Bill calls him my imaginary boyfriend, lol. It's funny, though, because he's me... ultimately. So, am I just that into myself? It's confusing, like one of those Zen cones ya know, what's the sound of one hand clapping?

Okay, I've been writing all night and it's morning now-- I'm getting giddy.

Milestone

2009-01-29T11:27:00.000-08:00

Late last night, I made it to Chapter 9 and 200 pages. Then I went to bed, lol.

I tallied it up, I've written about 100 pgs. in two weeks, give or take a day. Depending the the person, I suppose, that could be good or bad concerning speed. But that's as hard as I'm pushing right now, because I'd rather be a little slow as long as the story is good. Being fast and writing crap does nothing for me.

In a previous post, I mentioned that my goal was 7 pages a night, but sometimes I'd only get out 3 or 4. I've upped it to 10 pages a night, no excuses. The rule is that I'm not allowed to go to bed until I have 10 keepable pages. It's working pretty good so far. But I'll try to not be too hard on myself if and when I hit a bump in the road.

I'm about two scenes away from one that I'm dying to write, it's torture! The scene will be a great mix of romance and action--I've been keeping most of the story balanced that way. I'm pretty sure both guys and gals would like it.

Someday I might post a few pages on here, but not until I've got the whole thing done and get it all fleshed out and polished up. ;)

Night Writer

2009-01-27T07:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I've gone and become a crazy shut-in, but I've hit my writing stride, so it's okay.

My schedule is FUBAR, however.

I feel my writing mojo best in the evening and night, so I usually put in an eight hour shift from 7pm-3am. Sometimes it runs earlier or later depending on outside circumstances. Then I'll crash and sleep until 7am, when I have to get Willie up and ready for school. After that, I either go back to sleep for a awhile or have coffee and a shower. Anyway, in the afternoon, I do some proofreading and editing of the manuscript and harangue Bill into keeping up with me so that I can bounce ideas off of him.

I'm almost surprised I haven't started dreaming of the story. Then again, I spend so much time absorbed in it while awake, I bet my brain is dying to escape into more mundane dreams like scrubbing toilets. Though, I did have one weird dream that I was back in high school, hanging out in the auditorium, while Brittany Spears followed me around, trying to be buds. I had to shake my head over that. I'd much rather have buddy dreams of hanging out with Stephen King. I bet we'd get along great. I hear he's a Virgo. Me and Virgoes always mesh. Really, I've got like three of them for friends. That's a lot for me, too, because I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel. :)

Anyway, I'm getting diarrhea of the keyboard and I'm being forced to go to some parental church class this morning, which I'm fairly certain I'll be late for, due to my unwillingness to have to go--because I tend to be anal retentive about punctuality, otherwise--but I suppose I should get dressed and do real life for awhile.

Sorry

2009-01-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

Sorry folks, I haven't posted in a few days. Been busy with "real life" ... generally, my family and my writing. I came to a small writer's block when I lost sight of my antagonist's motivations-- gave myself a fantastic headache over-thinking all the possibilites, too! :)

Anyway, I spent lots of time thinking, imagining, and listening to the two bands that inspire me most--Muse, for obvious reasons & Disturbed, which still baffles me but I go with it-- and now I'm halfway through Chapter 6 and nearing 140 pgs. I'm regaining my pace and with it my peace of mind.

I promise I'll stop by all my faves as soon as I get a chance.

My Guys In Black & White & Sepia

2009-01-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

While my guys washed the car last summer, I snapped some shots. Then I got to playing with the color. :)

Yay, I'm on pg. 110 in ch. 5 of my story. It's rolling along. I'd say effortlessly ... sometimes that's the case, but other times there's some effort involved--like trying not to use any one common word too often and keeping adverbs to a minimum, lol. I'm doing a lot of winging it where plot is concerned. I have a general idea of where I want to go, but scene by scene it's been a leading-into process. I let my good buddy, Jane, read the first chapter and she insists that it's good stuff. Of course, she could be a tad biased, but she's also a nitpicky Virgo--so there's hope yet.

Solitude

2009-01-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

I shot these at 3 different places. I liked the quiet beauty of nature undisturbed. The top is my fave, but I'm miffed about the overexposure of the sky at the top. I could crop, but I love all the greenery and the dimensions ... if I crop, the gazebo would go higher up. Ah well, can't have it all.

I started Ch.5 and I'm on pg. 101 ... I was in a groove last night and managed to produce 8 decent pages. 7 is my usual goal, but sometimes I only manage 3 or 4 if I'm tired or trying to work out plot. I'm just glad I'm still going strong.

Hope you all are doing well with your own goals! Remember to stop and smell the roses and don't sweat the small stuff. :)

Birds in Blue Pics

2009-01-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

I took all of these in the county park one day. Let me just say that I had bunches, but these were the clearest. Dang birds are twitchy little beasts. They know nothing of behaving in front of the camera, lol. :D

Story Update: Finishing up Ch. 4 on pg. 92. Had a hiccup with my laptop getting a nasty virus and that put me a little behind schedule, but I'm doing pretty well with the whole self-discipline thing.

Sky Pics

2009-01-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

I took the top pic near the end of sunset early in fall, thought it looked too cool to pass up.

The bottom two pics were taken with my zoom lens from my old apartment balcony when a storm was just starting to brew.

If you've noticed, I've been doing a pics theme here. I know I haven't made a huge deal out of my photography fetish much here, but it's there just the same. I've got tons to share, figured I shouldn't waste them. Hope ya all like what ya see.

Willie's Hit Pic And About The Story

2009-01-08T22:32:00.000-08:00

I took this last April? It was Willie's first baseball game ever and that was just after his first hit. He was the youngest on the team but gained a reputation as being a reliable hitter who could be counted on to bring the others home. It was a great team and a great experience. The coaches had the right kind of positive attitudes. The parents and grandparents were involved. And I'm really not surprised, but I'm very proud to brag that The Cubs won the Championship game of the season. :)

The writing continues to progress well. I'd give a synopsis--as requested--but I'm not quite sure how to go about it. It's a mix of action/romance/fantasy, I guess. There's the whole good vs. evil theme with angels and demons. I might say it has sort of a Twilight kind of romance with a Prophecy attitude. No vampires, though. LOL Maybe when I'm done with the first draft I'll be able to sum it up better.

Horsing Around

2009-01-06T21:39:00.000-08:00

I took this pic last summer. I know, I'm a sicko. But dang, that there's a biggun.

*Oh, good news, I'm finishing up chapter three, page 71 of my story! I'm loving it.

My Snow Dog

2009-01-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

I took this pic of Kita last winter when we got some snow. I thought she looked cute with the white stuff all over her nose.

I can't believe she's going on 11 yrs. old! She's my pal, my good ol' girl.

Bill and I have many nicknames for her, the newest one is The Fuhrer(?) um... The Furher(?) Huh. I dunno how to spell it--never tried before. Feel free to enlighten me.

The Plight of The Black Widow

2009-01-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

I wonder, is it wrong to tell your husband--who you love very much-- that he'll never get out of this marriage alive?

I told Bill that one time when we were discussing what I would do if he ever wanted to leave me for another woman. I told him that if I let him go, he'd be taking my retirement money with him. That's just not an option. LOL! ;)

We joke about that comment all the time now. I wonder if Bill ever thinks I may be serious, underneathe the joking, even just a little bit.

Why did I bring this up now? Because Bill and I took a bath together last night and the topic came up again. We were trying to decide how best to go about the crime. Watching all these crime-solving shows on tv nowadays really made it hard to pick a good way to get away with murder.

In the end, I thought to myself, it must be very hard in this day and age to be a Black Widow. How on earth will they make their money?

2009 Ninja ZX-14 Monster Pic and My Latest Scribblings

2009-01-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Nice bike, right? I came across it while trying to find the perfect crotchrocket for the hero of my current story.

I never got around to telling you all about my latest life decision. I'm embracing writing full-time, since my other bright ideas ran into dead ends (nursing school and having another baby). That was part of the great depression I went through during the miscarriage. I didn't know what I was doing with my life and talents. I kept running into brick walls. The one thing that I was still doing, though, was writing--in one form or another.

Life kept interfering with my serious writing, however, and before long I was too busy, too tired, and too distracted to do more than blog here and there or churn out some poetry.

Just before Christmas, almost all of my distractions had been taken away. JS crashed. The weather sucked for golfing. Bill's shift change forced me to quit the choirs I was involved in. With all of that gone, I started to revisit an old story idea I had rolling around in the back of my mind. So, I went with it and now I'm on chapter three, about fifty pages into my first draft. And I feel a certain peace, passion, and rightness that I haven't felt with so many of my failed endeavors.

I'm hopeful and confident that this will be a bright new chapter in my own life.

Hope and The Great Onion Ring Caper

2008-12-31T18:14:00.000-08:00

Even though I just got the very bad news that my 3 years worth of entries in my JournalSpace blog is gone forever, I'm feeling perky. I've already found some of my fellow JS Refugees settling in here. There's hope yet.

As for the Onion Ring tale, well I got carried away. It's not a great caper. But, it's still amusing--well, it is to me. If you know me and have read my whinings about how food-challenged my husband is, you'll get it.

We went out for lunch one day in the not too distant past ... a couple of weeks ago if ya want a basic timeframe. Well, Bill's burger came with an onion ring pinned to it with a toothpick. He looked at it with some disdain. Then he noticed me looking at HIM with disdain.

So, he picks up the onion ring and says something like: "Hmm, wonder what it tastes like."

Of course, I'm almost apoplectic there. Who was this whacknut I married? 30 years old and never even tried an onion ring?! For all these years he's told me how he doesn't like them. How can you not like something you never tried?!

I've said it before, we have a marriage made in heaven. BUT, we are so not food-compatible.

Anyway, before he bit into it, I thought I'd be a wiseass and whip out my cell-cam to take a pic of the monumental moment.

Intro, Please

2008-12-30T14:42:00.000-08:00

Soooo, this is the third blog I've started in the past week. Maybe this one will stick. I see the potential here, but I'm still a skeptic. Wasn't too impressed with LiveJournal or WordPress, not my speed at all. I wouldn't be here if not for JournalSpace crashing. That's where I've blogged for the last three years. Hopefully the site will be recovered, but at least until then I need a blog somewhere.

We shall see.

This isn't much of a post, I know. Mostly, this is just a tester. I'm still getting a feel for configuring my blog here. Maybe later I'll be motivated to post something a bit more creative or amusing. Maybe I'll just babble on and on. :)